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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 8:21 pm 
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Full Time Tart

Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2007 12:14 am
Posts: 325
Yeah, you saw the title right. It's an actual fucking novel. I get up, I head over to Starbucks for some joe, right? And then I waltz right into the Borders because I'm picking out an innocent book for my nephew. But instead of finding that, I find the most puketastic example of fannish entitlement I've ever laid my eyes on. It's a NOVEL called 'TMNT'. Someone actually had the brass nerve to steal the entire concept of the TMNT and make a novel out of it. And not just any TMNT verse, the recent movie. They didn't even bother to change the dialogue! I open this sucker up and WHAM, the opening narration from the movie hits me smack in the face like a punch from a sewer worker's FIST. This is pathetic! You know what, at least the Star Trek novels weren't a total run down of the plot from individual episodes! SOME of those things were original! Not TMNT. No, this just takes the characters, runs them through a hand wringer, reduces them to the most cardoard copies of turtles I've ever seen, and mass produces them for a slavering fan audience. Are you kidding me? THIS is what goes through as publishable fanfic?

And this thing must have been written for children! Like, children still wearing training undies. There's no depth, no characterization, nothing but a stale low-by-blow commentary of the movie. It's exactly like watching the movie, only without the visuals, without the voice actors, without the fight scenes, and without the miniscule amount of depth you can squeeze from watching the CG turtles on the big screen. People are supposed to buy this drivel? Seriously? I can't even write anything more about it, I'm just...I'm speechless. Fucking speechless. Today is a dark day for TMNT history, guys. I mean, the first rule of fandom is that you don't profit from fandom. What's going to happen when the creators find out about this? They're going to purge the damn fandom with a BLOWTORCH for the author of this stilted monstrosity, and we're going to be scourged. Wave goodbye to turtlecest, ladies and gents, and all because some douchebag couldn't keep his 'artistic vision' away from the lameass no-name publishing company.

And don't try to tell me it's an official work. Everyone knows the creators only do comics.


I'm Queen Tart of CARTOON TURTLE MOUNTAIN.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 8:30 pm 
Tartfriend

Joined: Mon Jun 09, 2008 8:26 pm
Posts: 48
Aaaactually, in Star Trek fandom, money is perfectly okay to make if you get published. Also, while there are a lot of published, original stories, there ARE movie novelizations that go down the entire script and try to extrapolate on hidden thought processes. My father gifted me with such a novelization based off "Star Trek: Generations".

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying the novelizations are *good*, only that they exist. This book was a thin veneer of a book, parading as a novel and it sucked ass. But it was still what it was and Paramount's mark was on the cover.


"You guys are all gonna regret this so. bad. With me, this place'll turn into the TMNT Enterprise in no time." --MoS

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 8:34 pm 
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Full Time Tart

Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2007 12:14 am
Posts: 325
Look, I know what I'm talking about, okay? Better fandoms than this have been threatened by an author getting wind of fanfic. Pern fanfic isn't even allowed on the internet anymore! And Anne Rice, of course. Some people might have faced lawsuits! Star Trek is just the exception that proves the rule in this case. Do I have to mention the Harry Potter Lexicon debacle? It was a bloodbath.


I'm Queen Tart of CARTOON TURTLE MOUNTAIN.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 9:15 pm 
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Full Time Tart

Joined: Sun Dec 30, 2007 12:14 am
Posts: 325
Oh. And April Fools!


I'm Queen Tart of CARTOON TURTLE MOUNTAIN.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 01, 2009 9:18 pm 
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Tartfriend

Joined: Fri Feb 22, 2008 11:56 pm
Posts: 90
Location: New York
Ooooo dang, you got me!


This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
Dorothy Parker


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 04, 2009 1:34 pm 
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Tartfriend

Joined: Wed Feb 20, 2008 1:06 am
Posts: 759
Location: Sarcasm Land
ROFL! Darn, I wish I hadn't been busy elsewhere. Did not see the April Fools coming, though.


"I do like a good maze." ~Master Splinter


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